the arrival.

well i've been attempting to update the blog the past few days but to no avail. i suppose that is how life will be from here on out. as most of you already know, she is here...and i can't say anything that will do her justice, other than she is absolutely precious and i never realized just how strong a mother's love for her child is until now.

it all started early monday morning, 12/30, when i was called and scheduled for an induction the following day at 7AM. what a rush of emotions and anxieties that brought along! last minute lists and tasks were formed and planned as everything was set in gear for a very early tuesday.

we arrived at mission hospital at around 7A and were quickly ushered in to begin the fun. we were assessed as 1CM,  about 60% effaced and the baby was at a -3 station. not the best of places to start, but a place nonetheless. we continued on with formalities and finally an hour and a half later, i was given my IV bag of pitocin to start my contractions and from there on out, we played the waiting game. (pitocin is used to efface or thin out the cervix and thus kickstart contractions)

contractions started pretty quickly and steady and the nurse was certain that we would be delivered by 7P...but unfortunately, by 11AM, i had made little process and was informed that my ob-gyn would be coming by during lunch to break my bag of water. by 11:30A my epidural was ordered and life (or labor rather) definitely became a breeze. my reactions to medications are always a little varied and my reaction to my epidural was no different. i couldn't feel a thing from my chest down and all contractions felt like a minor gas pain. as time passed, i couldn't even move my legs, nonetheless feel anything. overall, it was a good decision and i'm SO 100% happy with the ultimate decision to get an epidural. anyhow....contractions continued...and continued...and continued as baby tried and tried and tried to get lower. unfortunately, it just did not happen. by early afternoon, i was 100% effaced and ultimately we were just waiting to completely dilate. and unfortunately, it never really happened. 7P ended up coming and going and by that time, my contractions were one on top of the other. i was now 4cm, 100% effaced and baby was still in a -2 station. and to make a long story short, i stayed there for a good 6 hours or so and never made it past there. 

turns out my pelvis was a big smaller than we anticipated and baby's head was never able to fully engage. we began the discussion about a cesarean section shortly before midnight and i have to say...it was very hard for the husband and i to accept. i was immediately brought to tears and thankfully, my mom was there to help calm both of us down reminding us that everything was and would be ok and that this was ultimately, the best for both me and the baby. and thankfully, my ob-gyn was the one on-call for the night and would be the one performing the surgery.

we were prepped for surgery a little after midnight and i was wheeled into the operating room by 1:20A on New Years Eve. I was given more anesthetics, set up, the husband came in and baby was born at 1:52A. you could hear her soft cries before she even came out of the womb and i can't describe the feelings or emotions that overwhelmed me when i first heard her cries and then saw her for the first time. people kept telling me about a mother's love and bond with a baby...but oh my gosh, i never in this world imagined.

she weighed 7 lbs, 14 oz and was 19.5 inches long and had quite the little conehead from trying to engage in my pelvis for so long. as many of you know, we had a few choices for names for her and after officially meeting her, we decided that she truly was a miss B. (B has been our #1 choice since before we even knew she was a girl, however many other names had made it on and off the list in the past 6 months!) her middle name wasn't so hard, as we decided before B was even a glimpse in our eyes that our children's middle names would be named after those who had some of the biggest influences our lives... thus we chose Kaylana, which is the combination of the husband's godmother's middle name (Kay) and my maternal grandmother's middle name (Lanakila).

the past week has been a whirlwind of pure bliss. she is precious and such a great little baby. she only cries when she is hungry and/or needs her diaper changed and is perfectly content lying in your arms or on a blanket and sleeping. i absolutely adore it. and even more so, i love watching the husband interact and talk with her and seeing the ways our relationship continues to grow...it makes me fall in love with him all over again. she had a bit of jaundice but luckily we were able to combat it by breastfeeding and as of yesterday, her jaundice was already disappearing and will continue to do so over the next few days.

my recovery from the cesarean has been hard & painful but thankfully, as healthy as can be expected. i was walking within 24 hours of the surgery and antsy as ever to be involved in everything with baby. in a very odd way, i feel lucky that i had my appendix out 10 + years ago, in that many of the pains i have endured were and are similar, which has been easy for me to recover from. i have to say though, i was not a fan of the actual procedure and the amount of pain/pressure i could actually feel and unfortunately, the odds are very great that all our children will need to be born by cesarean. but there are worse things in life than to be worrying about something like that and i was lucky enough to have had my love there with me, holding my hand throughout.

other than that, life is great and motherhood, amazing. seriously, life can't get much better than this. thanks to everyone for their well wishes for our family. we appreciate and love you all!

the "too-much-milk" face