anxious.

I've been getting anxious. 

Really, really freaking anxious.

I'm super excited...

just anxious.

My hypnobabies birth plan has helped curb some of the anxiety

but as B boy's birth comes a little closer and closer,

I notice that my anxiety is getting a little higher and higher.

And quite frankly,

it scares me.

 I find as I float in my sea hypnosis and calm myself down

I can feel the gates barely controlling the tsunami of anxiety

The wave that is just waiting to come crashing down.

I need this successful birth.

I need this VBAC.

I need to heal from my last experience.

I need to overcome this anxiety.

I need to overcome these fears that are suddenly surfacing.

I need to know and remember that I am in control

despite not knowing what the outcome is.

I need to trust my body and give way to the doubts.

I NEED this.

And until then...

I'm floating in this rising wave.

desperate not to drown.