*Someone near and dear to my heart needs this and this is dedicated to them.
"If I'd had any way of knowing things were - as Lily Tomlin once said - going to get a whole lot worse before they got worse, I'm not sure how well I would have slept that night. [...]When I finally made that decision, I thought the worst of it was over. That only shows how little I knew about divorce.
There was once a cartoon in The New Yorker magazine. Two women talking, one saying to the other: "If you really want to get to know someone, you have to divorce him." Of course, my experience was the opposite. I would say that if you really want to STOP knowing someone, you have to divorce him. [...] I believe that we shocked each other how swiftly we went from being the people who knew each other best in the world to being a pair of the most mutually incomprehensible strangers who ever lived. At the bottom of that strangeness was the abysmal fact that we were both doing something the other person would never have conceived possible; he never dreamed I would actually leave him, and I never in my wildest imagination thought he would make it so difficult for me to go." (Gilbert 17)
Ain't that the truth.
I've been trying to get into Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" for months. After a few good friends of mine raved about it, I thought I'd better jump on the wagon and see what the fuss was about. So I opened it up in January and started reading. Nothing stood out to me. Her writing style was ok but I wasn't really captured like I always hope to be with a good book. So after 40 pages in...I put it down and never picked it back up. It just was not for me.
But a few weeks back, I was chatting with some of my friends (some who love the book and an equal amount who hate it) and for some reason, I got it in my head that I HAD to try and read this book again. I just HAD to. I didn't know (until now) why I got this notion into my head but I did and I was determined to get into it.
Mind you that I am once again 40 pages in but it's a much better start than the first time around and I am determined to not put it down. But this time, there's something different about the book. I don't know what but I'm a huge believer in universal signs, manifestation, karma, deep spiritual connections, etc. and something is striking a chord with me.
You see, Elizabeth Gilbert is fighting her husband to end a marriage that he will not peacefully let go. I just finished the part where Elizabeth describes fighting her inner desire to divorce her husband and tries to conform to societal beliefs of marriage and parenting. And then when she realizes she can no longer fight this and decides to go forth with her divorce, she gives the above quotation of her experience. And honestly how much more perfectly worded could it possibly get?
But this petition that Elizabeth Gilbert writes to God gave me the ultimate sense of calm and I want to share:
"Dear God,
Please intervene and help end this divorce. My husband and I have failed at our marriage and now we are failing at our divorce. This poisonous process is bringing suffering to us and to everyone who cares about us.
I recognize you are busy with wars and tragedies and much larger conflicts than the ongoing dispute of one dysfunctional couple. But it is to my understanding that the health of the planet is affected by the health of every individual on it. As long as even two souls are locked in conflict, the whole of the world is contaminated by it. Similarly, if even one or two souls can be free of discord, this will increase the general health of the whole wide world, the way a few healthy cells in a body can increase the general health of that body.
It is my humble request, then, that you help us end this conflict, so that two more people can have the chance to become free and healthy, and so there will be just a little bit less animosity and bitterness in a world that is already too troubled by suffering.
I thank you for your kind attention.
Respectfully,
Elizabeth M. Gilbert"
(Gilbert 32-33)
She goes on to imagine various people (dead and alive) believing in and signing her petition. And a few hours later, almost two years after leaving her husband, her lawyer calls to confirm that her husband has finally agreed to a settlement and pretty much takes her for everything. She starts a new journey, new fortune finds her with a book deal and she begins her search for everything across Italy, India and Indonesia.
There's something comforting to me in these two passages and I find that it takes me back to a conversation I've recently had a couple times with a beautiful woman in my life. Following a similar path, she described her troubles, her fears and what her heart truly desires. Which ultimately is peace and happiness. A strong woman, she fought her fears to the core but eventually broke down in acknowledgment that they were there. And they shouldn't be, she explained. Because the only thing for her to fear was God.
Coming from someone not overly and openly religious, it was a strong, bold statement to make and it has definitely stuck in my head throughout the passing weeks. I find comfort (especially in my own fears) knowing that the only thing she fears is God as she faces the unknown and takes on battles bigger than she can handle. There's a sense of peace and serenity in that and I think I envision her a lot in Elizabeth Gilbert's book thus far.
For that woman who fears God...Remember to keep fearing God. Keep your strength, don't let go of your faith and hold your head high with pride as you march into battle. Petition and pray to God for the wellbeing and sanity of you and your family. Know that this is your path and you are not alone. Don't be afraid; just keep fearing God. And only God.
Works Cited [forgive me if this is wrong...it's been awhile :) ]
Gilbert, Elizabeth. Eat, Pray, Love. New York: Penguin Books, 2006.
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