How it Feels to Fly

I'm such a chump. When I got pregnant two years ago (Wow, I can't believe it's been that long!) I swore my baby would sleep in her bassinet/crib and she would not be sleeping in our big King size bed with us. Well she had other things in mind and when she was born, we immediately picked up many attachment parenting techniques and she almost immediately found herself asleep in our bed or on our chests almost every night. Things continued that was for about 6-7 months until she started crawling and I was soon finding her everywhere she was NOT supposed to be. But because I liked having her so close, we kept her in our room, right next to our bed in a pack-n-play and every morning when she starts to toss and turn in midst of waking up, I pick her up and we snuggle in bed together for about an hour. It's pure bliss and it totally makes my day. Well, except for when she picks my nose, pokes my eyes and karate kicks me in bed, but you get the point.

Well here we are, she's 16 months old and she's still in our room. And as we transition into our new house, her room was the first set up and we are getting ready to keep her in there. And I feel so sad about it!!!! I know she'll do fine as we've started getting her adjusted to it by giving her naps in the crib while unpacking and she loves playing in there and putting all her toys in the closet. But what about ME? Mommy's not ready for her to move to her own room! I want her right there next to me in bed still. To wake up and make sure she's ok. To be right there when she needs me. To calm her back to sleep if she needs (even though she never does anymore) and a million other things.

I think this is one of the saddest things that I know is coming. And even though I know this blog sounds so overbearing and I'd love for her to stay small forever, I'm really not sad about her growing up. I'm just sad about her moving out of our room; Not seeing her sweet face smiling and waving to me in the morning. Or hearing her sweet voice babble in her crib.

So we'll see how this goes and how long she lasts in her room.

I'm sure little miss B will be fine. It's mommy I'm worried about.