Music Monday - The House That Built Me

The House That Built Me

by Miranda Lambert

I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

***

For whatever reason, every time I hear this song I tear up. It evokes a deep connection with me and makes me reflect on my years growing up, who I am as a person/woman and what has shaped that and the relationships within my family.

It's no secret; my parent's are going through a divorce. And it's ugly. And in it's own way, hard on all of us. But after years of living it firsthand, I definitely would be the first to say it's for the best and definitely needs to be done for everyone to heal and move on; which ultimately I hope happens for us all. So when I hear this song, it takes me back to the memories I have of the past 26 years.

I have many good memories. I remember lots of laughter and childhood fun playing and bossing around my brothers as any older sister would. God, how I love those boys. I remember sitting around as a family for dinner every night (Well, until my parents bought a big screen t.v. and my dad would eat in front of the t.v. instead, but nonetheless whether he was at the table or not I remember dinner together as a family). I remember laughing with my mom and along with that, lots of scoldings and late night talks too. She never put being my friend first when I was growing up which I will forever appreciate because at the time it was important that she was "mom." It wasn't until later that we blossomed into a beautiful friendship. I remember basketball talks with my dad and the big dreams he had for me, my brothers and his family. But with all those good things come bad things, as the way ying and yang work and I remember a share of bad times for all as well.

But life unfolded and here we all are today. Battered...broken...but alive. We've all changed. We've all grown. Time doesn't stop so we've all moved forward whether we liked it or not. Whether any of us wishes we could go back, I cannot say. But I know that even though I come from a broken family, that family is what made me who I am today. And the brokenness we are experiencing today, is shaping each and every one of us to be something else. And no matter where we go in life, these experiences and memories are what make us and will forever ground us and made us who we are.